I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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