He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
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Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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