ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
