yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
