I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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