well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
