just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
