it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
