My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
