everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We left an ass print on the piano.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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