i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
