some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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