apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
