Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
