Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
