she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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