I wanna passion pit in your ass
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
