Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
