So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
