dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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