What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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