i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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