her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
