I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
