the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
