OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
the liver wants what the liver wants
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
