its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
