You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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