i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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