dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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