If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize