So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
