dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
