So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Life is so much better after having sex.
my shit smells like andre
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i think im in europe. pls send help
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
