I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
