i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
