My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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