what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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