You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So vagazzling was a success
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
