The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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