i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
