It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
