She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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