Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Pants are for mortals
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
