Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How external is "for external use only"?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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