I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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