so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
