Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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