My first STD was from a foam party
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
