was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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