You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
