Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
