Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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