# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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