you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
