You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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