I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
