thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
