Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
