At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
