i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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