got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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