He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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