that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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